


Truth Or Truth

by daffodil_blue



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: (Kind of - it's complicated), Alternate Universe - No Emails (Simonverse), Bram manages to have a conversation with his crush!!?!!? I'm proud of him, Coming Out, Developing Friendships, Friends to Lovers, M/M, New Year's Eve, POV Bram Greenfeld, Party Games, Swearing, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 06:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17259452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daffodil_blue/pseuds/daffodil_blue
Summary: Here's two things about Simon Spier:The first is that he sort of stares. It's like the whole world is some sort of wonder to him, because whenever I see him he stares right at me like he's seeing me for the first time. Only it's clear that he has no idea how long he stares for. And he probably has no idea how pretty his eyes are when he does it.The second is that he's cute. So cute that I can't help but stare back. So cute that it's becoming a bit of a problem.The overall effect of these two things together is a lot of complicated feelings, which I could really do without.Especially in a game called Truth Or Truth.written for as part of cuteandbrammatical's secret santa, with the prompt "truth or dare"!





	Truth Or Truth

**Author's Note:**

> this fic began as a very straightforward, standard truth or dare fic, and then i went to a party myself and got reminded of my favourite party game, whose name i am unable to find anywhere on the internet but which never fails to entertain me and my friends. it's not exactly the same as the game the crew plays in this fic, but it gave me inspiration for a slight twist on a normal truth or dare fic.
> 
> this is primarily based on the book characterisation, so you get shy!bram in all his adorable glory here. martin and the emails don't exist in this universe, but everything else is the same. 
> 
> for kam (findingfandomwithafangirl), my secret santa recipient: thanks for such a fun prompt!! this might not be exactly what you envisaged when you made your wishlist, for which i apologise, but i hope you like this just as much. 
> 
> i wish you all a very happy new year!

Most of the houses on Nick's street are still decked out in artificial Christmas lights: bright, cold white and blue, maybe a flash of red here or there. Nick's house is the exception, but it still looks warm and inviting, yellow light peeking out from gaps in the curtains. It's cold when I step out of Garrett's car - _“Nearly January!”_ he says breezily - so I tug my jacket closer as he raps on the door.

“Whaddup,” Nick says when he answers. Garrett offers him a fistbump and a _“Happy New Year, my dude!”_

“It's not the new year yet,” says a bored voice from further inside - Leah. Which means, if my calculations are correct, that Simon is already here.

We leave our shoes by the door, and follow Nick into his basement. He's lit a few candles - possibly a dangerous idea, considering the cans of beer waiting on the side table - and brought down an extra beanbag from his room. Leah is in the middle of firing up the TV. Abby and Simon are sitting on the couch, looking at something on her phone. They both look up when we enter, and Abby gives us an enthusiastic wave. Simon says nothing but smiles widely, completely disarming me for a full twenty seconds.

Garrett grabs one of the beers then plops down onto a beanbag, so I sit on the one next to him. Quite aside from the stress of my massive crush on Simon Spier, I still don't really know how to converse with him or Abby, despite sitting with them every day for lunch. It's one of those _half-friend_ situations, those people who’ll attend the same meetups as you but wouldn't spend time with you without the missing link of the Friend In Common. So it's not _really_ because of Simon's adorableness that I leave the empty spot on the couch for Nick. Only a tiny, _tiny_ percentage.

“So how is everyone?” asks Garrett.

“Would be better if Nick had a TV that actually worked,” says Leah, resting the remote on her drawn-up knees.

Nick frowns. “Give me that,” he says, and reaches across for the remote. He fiddles with the channel settings, tries to connect the DVD player, and manages another black screen.

“The Xbox was working earlier,” he says. “Maybe we could just play a game?”

Simon rolls his eyes. “I see. This was all a plot, to entice us here with promises of a movie night and then subject us to _Sky-Glass_ or whatever it's called.”

“Do you mean _Skyrim?”_ Garrett asks, incredulous.

Abby snorts. Simon does a strange sort of giggle-shrug. “It's all the same to me,” he says. And then he winks at me.

I am most definitely not going to survive this night.

* * *

It's Abby that finally suggests _Truth Or Dare_.

“Isn't it a bit early for that?” Garrett asks. “It's literally 9pm. We have a whole night still to kill.”

Abby raises her eyebrows. “Unless you have any better suggestions, I for one would like to get to know you all a bit better, if we're about to spend a _whole night_ together.”

Nick gives up on the TV and sinks lower into the couch cushions. “I'd be up for that. Leah?”

She rolls her eyes again, or maybe that's just her default reaction to everything. “I guess so. But no drinking dares.”

“Got it,” Nick says.

“What about you, Bram?” Simon says, and he smiles again. And woe betide me if I do anything to make that smile disappear. 

“Sure.”

Abby grins and gets up from the couch, depositing herself on the floor across from Leah.

“What are you doing?”

“You can't have _Truth Or Dare_ without a circle on the floor! Nick, pass me a beer, would you?”

Nick shakes his head and complies, also taking one for himself, then sits down next to Leah. Simon follows, sans the beer, which makes me feel a bit better about my alcohol-free plans for the evening.

I look at Garrett, who's been deep in thought for a while. “Wait, wait, wait!” he suddenly says. “We can do that thing, y'know, Greenfeld, the one we did with the soccer guys!”

I look at him blankly.

“It's like _Truth Or Dare_ , or like _Truth Or Truth_ , I guess. But, like, instead of the whole circle knowing the question, the person asking has to whisper it, and then the other guy has to answer out loud. And then you flip a coin, and if it lands heads you have to reveal the question to everyone.”

Abby shrugs. “Sounds fun. But then could we do normal _Truth Or Dare_ afterwards please?”

“Sure thing, Fabby Abby,” Garrett says, and with that he picks up his beer, grabs my arm, hauls me up off my beanbag and then sinks us both to the floor.

And just as my body sinks down, my heart jumps up and starts leaping around in my throat. Because Garrett Laughlin, force of nature, soccer bro extraordinaire, has put me right opposite Simon. 

* * *

Here's two things about Simon Spier: 

  1. The first is that he sort of _stares_. It's like the whole world is some sort of wonder to him, because whenever I see him he stares right at me like he's seeing me for the first time. Only it's clear that he has no idea how long he stares for. And he probably has no idea how pretty his eyes are when he does it.
  2. The second is that he's cute. So cute that I can't help but stare back. So cute that it's becoming a bit of a problem.



The overall effect of these two things together is a _lot_ of complicated feelings, which I could really do without.

Especially in a game called _Truth Or Truth._

* * *

“I'll go first,” Nick says. “Leah, ask me a question. We'll go round in a circle.”

Leah thinks for a while, then - with a _“Come on!”_ from Garrett - leans across and whispers in Nick's ear.

“Leah!” he says, shocked, then starts laughing. “Do you think it's Halloween or something? Or are you just becoming a full-time emo goth punk?”

Leah rolls her eyes. “I hope you're aware that emo, goth and punk are three separate things.”

Nick shrugs, then lets out a slow breath as he thinks. “Okay. Um. You, I guess.”

“That's a total cop-out!”

He shrugs. “You asked the question, you can deal with the consequences.”

Leah shakes her head, then says, “Okay. Who has a coin to toss?”

“Here,” Simon says, digging one from his pocket and handing it over. “You better throw a heads.”

Nick tosses it with a flourish - _“Show off,”_ Leah mutters - and reveals with another flourish. Tails.

“Dammit,” says Simon. “Okay, my turn.”

* * *

By the time it gets round to me, we have discovered that Simon's honest first impression of Garrett was “kind of a very minor douchebag”, that Abby's last kiss was “probably like 6/10”, and that Garrett picked Leah for something that made Abby giggle a lot and say _awww_ repeatedly.

Garrett turns to me, ever-so-slightly flustered from Abby's question, but with a distinct glint in his eye.

“Oh no,” I say.

“Don't worry, Greenfeld. I'll go easy on you _this time_.”

I shake my head, and he leans over to whisper in my ear. Something about the way that Simon is looking at me in interest is making me distinctly nervous. 

_“Do you have a crush on anyone?”_

The effect of Garrett's words on the temperature of my cheeks is immediate. _You can do this, Bram. Play it cool._

If I say yes, I'm never going to hear the end of it from Garrett, and it will inevitably lead to more awkward questions. But it's New Year's Eve. It's _Truth Or Truth_. I can't really lie, not this time.  

I nod. Garrett gasps dramatically. I think he figured that would be an automatic _no_ , considering my lack of interest in talking about girls. If only he knew.

“Toss the coin!”

Garrett tries to pass it to me, but I shake my head. “You do it, I'm terrible at coin tossing.”

So he does. I hold my breath.

“Heads.”

I cover my face as Garrett gleefully shares his question. Through my fingertips I can see Simon's face.

Maybe it's my imagination, but it sort of looks like he's smiling. 

* * *

The game continues, and I'll admit, it's pretty fun. Garrett's questions are not the most imaginative and mostly revolve around kissing or drinking, and considering he knows how little experience I have in either of those fields, I can't quite work out what he's hoping to discover. Leah's questions are smart and entertainingly twisted. Simon's questions try to be mischievous and mostly end up being kind of adorable. My questions are incredibly tame, but then again, Leah is slightly terrifying sometimes. I'm not sure I'd want to ask her anything embarrassing even if I knew what to say.

Nick leans over and whispers in Simon's ear. “Aww,” Simon says. “That's a surprisingly wholesome question.”

He looks down at his hands and thinks for a minute, and there's the slightest hint of pink across his cheeks. “Okay,” he says. “Bram.”

My mind stops for a second. Nick _awws_. Simon looks down and sort of laughs, then catches my eye and smiles again, and his expression is so soft and his face is so pretty and I am so, so done for.

Nick finds the coin where it's fallen to the floor, then passes it over. Simon tosses it. “Heads,” he says with a nervous grin. “Okay, the question was: name someone you know who you'd really, really love to know better.”

Abby _awws_ even harder than Nick. “Me too!” she says and beams at me.

I look down, because I can't quite manage to look Simon in the eye right now, but I hope he can still see the smile on my face. “Thank you,” I say. “You too.”

I chance a glance up. He's still looking at me. He's still smiling. Soft. Sweet. Totally adorable.

Then he clears his throat and moves over to whisper to Abby.

* * *

I should have known, really, that Garrett's questions would eventually become a big, big problem. It was only a matter of time.

He leans across, gives me one of those _bro arm punches_ that he's so fond of. He's definitely tipsy by now, but not totally drunk, which is something.

“Okay,” he says out loud to the circle. “My question is…” He shuffles closer and whispers the rest in my ear. _“Who in this circle would you most like to date?”_

Everything inside me just shudders to a stop. And the worst thing is, I'm not even surprised. I take a long moment and try to just breathe in and out. And then I look at Garrett for a long, long while.

I've never told Garrett about my sexuality. I've barely discussed the topic of love with him at all, unless you count listening to his drunken rambling about the wonders of Amelia Poole’s mouth at his birthday party. I know he's hooked up with a fair few girls before, but neither of us has had a proper relationship yet. And even when he does talk about crushes, I don't.

I'll tell you one thing, though: when he heard Brendon Peters badmouthing gay people back in September in the changing room, he told him, quite decisively, to _shut the fuck up_. “Not cool, asshole.”

The fact that Garrett Laughlin would do that even without knowing that _I'm_ gay made me love him that little bit more.

“Come on, Greenfeld, look around this circle, there's literally like two possible options,” he says now.

I close my eyes. I mean, it's true, in a way. Garrett is too much like my brother to ever be an option, so really it's just between Nick and Simon. Something tells me, though, that that is not what he means.

I open my eyes again. Abby smiles at me. Leah looks kind of bored. For a moment I wonder what it would be like if I could just pick one of them. Just pick a girl and go. It's just a silly party game. No one could blame me. But ultimately, as I turn back to Garrett - sweet, silly, unsuspecting Garrett - I know I can't do that. If not now, when?

I meet his eyes, and even though my stomach ties itself in knots to do it, I manage to say the name.

“Simon.”

His eyes widen. It takes a moment for it to compute. And then he says, “Oh.” And then he says, “A valid answer.” And then he stares at me for a moment. And then he smiles. “Yeah, definitely valid.”

I want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

Simon is looking on in interest, but I can't meet his eye.

“Oi, Garrett,” Abby says, gesturing toward the coin on the floor. And it's only then that I fully realize the meaning of what I've done.

I turn panicked eyes on Garrett.

He meets my gaze. 

He tosses the coin, covering it with his hand as it lands. Then he lifts his fingers and peeks at it.

“Aww. Tails,” he says. “Sorry guys.” He lets the coin fall to the floor.

The thing is, from the angle I'm at, I can see quite clearly that it was heads. And at that moment I know, beyond all doubt, that Garrett Laughlin is a pretty great friend.

He gives me another _bro arm punch_. I smile.

* * *

“Should we do some classic _Truth Or Dare_ now?” Nick asks.

Simon nods. “Okay then. But maybe a little break first.”

There's a general murmur of agreement. Garrett gets up for another beer. I mutter something about finding the bathroom, and slip back up the stairs.

I lean against the wall when I reach the hall, and shut my eyes again. I take a moment to breathe deeply, in and out, _you've got this, Bram, you're alright._

“Hey.”

I open my eyes. It's Simon. Of course it is.

“Hi,” I say.

There's a pause. “You alright?”

I nod.

“Okay. Good. That's… Yeah.”

I pull my classic Bram trick of smiling, looking down, and being utterly, totally unable to find anything to say.

“That was a pretty fun game,” he says.

“Yeah, it was.”

“Not so great if you've got a secret though. Kinda stresses you out after a while. It's why I usually go for dare in _Truth Or Dare_.”

I look up at him, eyes wide - _he can't know about me, can he?_ \- but he's not looking at me at all. Instead, he stares at the wall just to the left of me, looking kind of nervous.

“Have you… Have you got a secret, then?”

He nods.

“Oh.” I say. Then, “Are _you_ okay?”

He blinks, as if he's just remembering where he is, then smiles. “Yeah. Sorry. I'm really awkward, if you hadn't noticed.”

“You say that as if I am not also the most awkward human being on the planet.”

He laughs. “You're not awkward, though, you're smart. Just quiet. I couldn't imagine being that quiet. I just ramble. I can't keep my mouth shut.”

“I'm not always this boring, I promise.”

His brow furrows. “I don't think you're boring. I always feel like quiet people usually have the most interesting things to say.”

Honestly, _what is happening here?_

“Ha. Yeah. Maybe.”

He moves toward me, then stops.

“Are you sure you're okay?” he says, softly. He sort of half-raises his hand, almost like he's reaching out to me, but then he lets it fall.

I almost want to scream. I couldn't even deal with Simon when he was just a pretty face. But each moment I spend with him, I discover more and more of his kindness and softness and loveliness. And now this. I can feel myself falling faster and faster. Soon I'm going to hit the ground, and I don't know how I'm ever going to get back up again.

I open my mouth to reply - I've got no idea what I'm planning on saying - but at that moment Garrett comes into the hallway. He sees the two of us together, both with kind-of-intense expressions on our faces, and his eyes go comically round. Or at least they would, if there were anything remotely funny about this situation. Which there most definitely isn't.

I am quite terrifyingly aware that ten minutes ago I told him that I would date Simon before anyone else in this house. I am also terrifyingly _unaware_ of just how drunk Garrett is at this point.

“Oh,” he says. “Sorry. Didn't mean to _intrude_.”

And then he wiggles his eyebrows at us, the full Garrett Laughlin cheeky, knowing charm.

Somewhere inside of my head, my usually-very-clean-and-virtuous brain goes _shit shit shit._

I try to move back away from Simon toward the wall, but there's nowhere to go. So I just stare at Garrett in horror, and try to avoid looking at Simon. Who is now blushing intensely.

_Shit_.

Garrett seems to be thinking the same thing, because then he goes, “Oh god. Sorry. I think I've had a bit too much to drink.” He laughs awkwardly. “I'll - er - yeah.”

He moves back toward the door and hastily exits, swearing under his breath, and suddenly I'm alone again with Simon. Who is pointedly not looking at me anymore.

I can't work out how seriously he's taking Garrett's stupid knowing _look_. Maybe he'll just think it's Garrett's usual drunken antics. But Simon was _there_ , that moment that I answered his name after such a long, intense pause when Garrett asked who I'd date. He might not have heard the question, but he could see Garrett's reaction. It wouldn't take a genius to work it out, and Simon's a smart guy.

Maybe he's not looking at me now because he's figured it out, and he's uncomfortable with having such an awkward gay guy crushing on him.

Or maybe not.

_I just can't tell_.

After a painful few seconds, he looks back up at me and smiles shakily. His cheeks are still pink. “We should probably go back and join the others,” he says.

I bite my lip and nod. I can't really think of anything I'd less like to be doing right now than playing _Truth Or Dare_.

“We don't have to play _Truth Or Dare_ if you don't want to,” he says, as if he's read my mind. “You know that, right?”

“I don't mind,” I say quietly.

A pause.

“You could always just sit and watch.”

All of a sudden, I feel like crying. And it's not even to do with him, really. It's just that that's _me_. Whatever I do. However hard I try. I'll always be scared, shy Bram Greenfeld, that one person on the edge of the circle, turning down the alcohol, sitting out _Truth Or Dare_ , because in the end, I'm just too afraid.

Simon seems to notice my feelings, even though I'm trying my best not to let them show. I once heard him say to Leah that he was _“awful at reading people - it's so bad, Leah, I just can't get into other people's heads, and then I say all sorts of stupid shit that ends up hurting everyone more.”_

But I have to think that he can't be quite as bad as he says, because now he moves closer to me, and looks at me softly. I try to meet his gaze, and then he says:

“Can I tell you a secret? I really, really hate _Truth Or Dare_.”

And maybe it's something about the earnestness of his expression, or the care in his voice, or how stupidly, absurdly pretty those _moon-gray eyes_ are, but suddenly I'm laughing. Laughing and laughing, completely cracking up, and he joins in, and we laugh together until it feels like we can't stop.

“Doesn't you telling me that secret count as a _truth_?” I say through my laughter.

He puts his hand to his forehead. “Oh no! I'm giving in to the demonic power of alcohol-fueled peer pressure party games! I must talk in lies for the rest of the evening!”

Which only makes us laugh harder.

Eventually we quieten a little, and he lays a light hand on my arm. I try not to stare at it.

“Do you wanna find somewhere more comfortable to sit?” he says. “Somewhere away from the others?”

I couldn't say no to this boy right now if I tried.

“Yeah,” I say. “I'd like that.” 

* * *

We find ourselves in a corner of Nick's living room. His parents are out tonight, so it's quiet. Simon turns on a side light, but leaves the overhead light off.

I feel my phone vibrate in my jean pocket. Garrett. A whole string of texts.

_Are you okay???_

_I'm so sorry if I made things awkward. Shoulda kept my fat mouth shut_

_You coming back down, or do I need to go up and give Certified Bro Support?_

_Also I hope you know this but_

_I love you man_

_And whoever you wanna date don't change that_

_Just so you know_

I smile at my phone in goofy happiness.

_I'm okay_ , I text back. _Me and Simon are going to chill up here for a bit._

_I see,_ he replies. _I'll leave you two to yourselves, then._ Winky face.

Then another text half a second later:

_Just let me know if you need anything tho_

I roll my eyes, send back a _Thanks_ , then put my phone back into my pocket.

Simon smiles. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just Garrett. I told him we’re going to stay up here for a bit.”

“What's he like as a friend?" 

“Is this another truth question?”

He laughs. “Can be.”

“Okay,” I say. “The truth - the _real_ truth - is that Garrett Laughlin tries to present himself as a smooth, suave soccer player, when really he's a giant dork.”

Simon laughs again. “I think I'm beginning to get that.”

“He's sweet, though. He cares a lot, even though he doesn't always want anyone to see that.”

“Yeah? That's cool. I've always wondered about you two, because you're so quiet and he's, like, kind of ridiculously loud sometimes.”

I smile. “Yeah, I'm not good at loud.”

“I don't think that's always a bad thing, though.”

There's a pause, but it isn't as awkward as pauses usually are around me.

“Should I get us drinks?” Simon says.

I smile nervously. “Yeah, okay. I think maybe just water for me though.” It's not that I have anything particular against alcohol - I drank a little bit at Christmas, after all - but tonight, I just really don't want any. Maybe there's some deep emotional reason behind it, but just as likely there isn't. I mean, I don't think you always need to be drinking to be having a good time. But it still makes me kind of nervous sometimes, explaining that.

“Actually,” Simon says, “I was going to see if Nick has any cokes in his kitchen.”

He gets up, then stops at the door. “I'll give you another truth: I have been known to get wasted off of one, single beer. And another one: I think alcohol is way overrated sometimes.”

All I can do is grin. 

* * *

When Simon gets back - a glass of water in one hand, a can of coke for himself in the other, plus another spare tucked under his arm - he sits down closer to me on the couch than he was before. I feel the familiar butterflies dancing in my stomach. He's wearing a new hoodie today - it has that soft, oversized look to it that only comes from a brand new one. His hair is about as messy as it can possibly get while still looking partly intentional, or at least not _unwelcome_. And he got new glasses recently, and suddenly his eyes are even more distracting than usual. I'd say he looks particularly great today, but who am I kidding? I always think he looks great.

To be honest, I can't believe I'm still here talking to him. Usually I can't manage two words when he's around, and here I am leaving the rest of the party guests to have some kind of deep one-on-one conversation with him.

The thought gives me inspiration.

“I have a truth,” I say.

“Okay then,” he says, grinning.

“I don't quite know why I'm talking so much to you today when I'm usually terrible at making conversation.”

He expression turns to one of soft surprise, then he smiles, and looks right at me, and I keep looking back. “I mean,” he finally says, “I can't answer that for you. But I'm glad you are.” He pauses. “I wasn't lying.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I said I wanted to know you better. It's true.”

I smile. “But… Why?”

He blushes and looks away. “I don't know. Just. You're so smart. And you seem kind of genuinely nice. Which so many people aren't.” He trails off. “Yeah, I don't know,” he says again.

“Oh.”

He tilts his head to the side shyly, and wow, it's unfairly adorable. “Another truth: I normally hate _Truth Or Dare_ , but I'm kind of lowkey loving it today.”

I laugh. “Me too.”

“And another one: I think this is the first time I've ever admitted to hating _Truth Or Dare_.”

I smile. “Are we just exchange truths now?”

He grins back, all big and goofy. “Yup, it seems like it.”

“Okay.” I take a sip from my water. “Here's another one: I wish I was braver.”

“Oh. I think you're plenty brave.”

“Really? I don't know why you'd think that.”

“I don't really know either. But I do.”

I gaze at him, and remind myself that I _must_ be imagining that he's gazing back.

“My big truth,” he says, and somewhere along the line our voices have gotten quieter, even though there's no one else around, “My big secret is the fact that I _have_ a secret. And I haven't told a single soul yet.”

“Surely the big secret is the secret itself, then.”

He laughs, but not as fully as before. “I mean, I guess that is logical.” There's something in his voice.

I find myself putting my hand on his arm. When I realize I'm doing it, I quickly lift my hand back. We both sort of stare at the place where my hand had touched him. And then he shifts imperceptibly closer, and I put my hand back, rest it on his soft hoodie sleeve.

“No, I'm sorry. I know what you mean,” I say gently. “There are some secrets where you know that the secret itself wouldn't really be a big thing if you shared it. But the fact that you find it hard to share, that's the real source of all the feelings.”

“God, you're smart.”

I blush.

“You speak as though you have experience,” he says.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

There's silence for a while. I look toward the clock on the living room wall: just past half 11. “Wow,” I say. “We're pretty close to the new year.”

“I'd say it's gone super fast, but that's kind of a cliché.”

“It is,” I say, “but it's also kind of true.”

He takes a sip from his coke. “Do you think we ought to go down and see the others?”

“I don't really mind,” I say. “We probably should let them know we haven't been abducted, I guess.”

He laughs again, and the fact that _I_ can make him laugh is blowing my mind. “Okay. First though, I think we need to do one last thing. But only if you want to.”

 “Okay.”

He looks down at where our arms are still overlapping. “We've done a lot of truths so far tonight, so I think we should do a dare. One each. For when it reaches the new year. Unless you don't want to, because that's fine too. You can say no to anything you want, including the entire idea.”

“No,” I say. “I like that.”

“Have you got any ideas for a dare?”

I bite my lip. I can feel the ever-present butterflies still flapping their wings. Finally I look up at him. I look him straight in his beautiful eyes. “I dare you, when the clock reaches midnight, to tell your secret.”

He nods, almost as if he were expecting it. His smile is soft, and goes up more on one side of his face.

“What's my dare?” I ask.

“Your dare, Bram Greenfeld, is to do whatever it is that you really, really want to do, the moment that the new year comes. Something that you tell yourself you're not brave enough to do.”

I look back at him and smile.

“Should we shake on it?” He has a mock-serious look in his eye. Nick's right - Simon Spier is a massive dork too. I can't help loving it.

We shake hands. 

* * *

When we get back, Leah and Nick are playing _Skyrim_ with the volume down really low. Abby is switching between watching them and texting someone, probably her cousins - she mentioned earlier that she always texts her cousins into the new year.

Garrett is fast asleep. Simon takes one look at him and starts laughing so hard that he has to lean on me to keep himself up.

Leah doesn't even have to look away from the game to know what he's laughing at. “You do not wanna know how long he's been sleeping like that.”

Abby smiles, and pats the empty space on the couch beside her. “Come over here, you two.”

We settle in. I feel all nervous and shy again.

“You two been making friends, then?” she asks with a grin.

“Yep,” Simon says, with the kind of smile that could move mountains. I, being me, can only manage an awkward nod.

Suddenly, there it is again. His soft hand on my arm. Only this time he hesitates, then moves his hand so it's resting on top of mine.

And my mind really is getting unusually foul-mouthed today, because all I can think is _Holy shit_.

* * *

Garrett wakes up three minutes before the new year. His sleeping position on Nick's old armchair can't have been that comfortable, because he grimaces and rubs his neck. “Ow.”

He looks over and sees us. “So you've returned,” he says with a grin.

I'm suddenly very grateful for the angle of the couch, which makes it impossible to see Simon's hand, still resting on top of mine.

The countdown itself is mostly led by Abby, Garrett and Simon. Nick and Leah decide to pause the game, which I guess is their version of festive new year spirit.

I look at Simon.

_4… 3… 2… 1…_

“Happy New Year!” Abby yells.

Simon turns to me, face full of joy. Adorable, adorable, adorable.

He told me to do whatever it is that I really, really want to do.

So I shift closer.

I put my hand on his cheek.

And though I tremble as I do it, I lean in and I kiss him. 

* * *

He kisses me back. That's the main thing I register, at first.

_He kisses me back. And it's glorious._

It takes a while, but eventually we break apart, and he immediately lifts his hand to the side of my face. His smile, at that moment, could outside the sun. “Oh my god,” he says.

And then, “Does this count for my dare too?”

“What?” I say.

“My secret. That I'm gay. I feel like that kiss kind of said that itself. Or at least I hope it did.”

I don't really know what to say to that, so I say nothing, and instead he just kisses me again.

Just as he does so, I suddenly remember the existence of other people than Simon Spier in the world.

When we break apart again, the others are staring at us. And this time, I really could say that their eyes are comically round, because everything about this situation makes me want to laugh.

All except for Garrett, who's just smirking. “I fucking knew it!” he says, and then he barrels over to us and gives me the fiercest _bro arm punch_ in the history of _bro arm punches_.

Nick is looking utterly dazed. “What…?”

Leah looks like she's been run over by a steamroller, but she's smiling. “You're _gay?”_  

Simon nods and blushes. “Yeah. I am.”

Abby looks right at me and beams. “Simon! Bram! I can't believe this!”

Simon starts laughing, and turns back to me. “Oh my god,” he says again. “Oh my god.”

Out of everyone, he looks by far the most dazed. I think the only person more dazed than he is is me.

_“_ And you said you weren't brave,” he whispers.

He leans in again, kisses me sweetly. Gently. My mind cannot function.

It's at that moment that I decide that I actually kind of love _Truth Or Dare._  

* * *

_Two months later_

“Hey.”

I turn and smile. It can only be one person.

“Hi,” I say. Simon rests his hand on my arm, which seems to have become a bit of a thing with us.

“I was talking to Nick, he was asking if we wanted to come hang tonight. Another basement party. The others are all going to be there.”

I grin up at him. “Hmmm. Will we be permitted to leave halfway through to cuddle on his couch and tell each other secrets?”

“I imagine we might.”

“Excellent. Count me in.”

We turn and start walking to English together.

“Did Garrett ever come up with a better name for that coin-tossing game than _Truth Or Truth?”_ he asks.

I laugh. “I don't think so.”

“Now that I think about it, I don't think you ever actually told me what he asked you, that one question where you took like five minutes to answer and then said my name and Garrett nearly lost his shit.”

I roll my eyes and look across at him. “Is it not obvious?” I say softly.

He smiles, then lets his hand brush mine for a moment, our gay-couple-in-Georgia equivalent of a hallway kiss. “I have a few ideas.”

“I stand by my answer. I'd still most like to date you out of all those people in that basement.”

“Well, that's a relief. I was thinking you might ditch me for Leah. I know how you are with the fair sex, Bram.”

I roll my eyes again. “Dork.”

“Cutie.”

I let my head fall on his shoulder. “Love you.”

“And you, my brave and beautiful boyfriend.”

With that, we head to English.

And here's one last truth: I have never been so happy in my life.

**Author's Note:**

> leah's question for nick: who in this circle would be your murder victim? (answer: leah) 
> 
> abby's question for garrett: name someone you think is really cute, but who you'd be too scared to admit it to. (answer: also leah) 
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](https://yourzombiejacques.tumblr.com/)


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